A Millennial Exploration: Fear and Trembling (Day 1)
It is paramount that we explore the depths of our faith and re-evaluate our journey as a disciple. As we put our preconceptions and biases on trial we start to see our true layers. What can be hidden through Facebook posts, Insta filters, and abbreviated tweets will get publicized through an old-fashion test. This is the believer’s view of “sculpting”.
No pre-workout or membership fees needed, just a renewed mind and beating heart. For my own sanity, I decided to explore this relentless execution of God’s word like a surgeon explores the human body with a scalpel: starting with “fear and trembling”.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Phi. 2:12)
I initially thought to myself, “Yup, so this means my personal salvation will come at the expense of me overcoming fear.” If I’m persistent in overcoming my fear at every waking moment somehow my salvation will be maintained. Matter of fact, if I wasn’t in a clear situation where my fear was conquered one can argue that my salvation wouldn’t have been genuine. For me this was simple enough to grasp, but obviously contradicting to the Word: For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. (Eph. 2:8–9).
So if the Word wasn’t advocating for “salvation through works”, then what did this text mean? The text is encourages a continual scrutiny of our discipleship with honest reflection, humility, and submission to the Holy Spirit (Commentary on Philippians 2:12, www.biblestudytools.com). Which is easier “said” than “done”. “Continual scrutiny” isn’t on the church brochures but it is apart of the billboard for Christianity.
Jesus reminds us that there is a “cup” filled with awkward encounters, inconvenient intercession, and deep persecution that we must “drink” if we are to follow him. It’s a cross that we carry. But to carry a cross with “fear and trembling” means shifting this oblong mass from one side to another to give our feet and hands some rest, just to shift it back onto the weakest part of our body in order to explore the beauty of the unwavering feet God has given us. Even as I write out this story, my daughter crawls over me, and the laptop, for a brief kiss and to crush crackers over a shaggy carpet. A fine scenario to remind me to allow the Word to do a consistent work in me.
Drawing near the Word has immediate effects. As I pondered on this idea of “working out salvation through fear” my wife and I had a conversation about removing our daughter’s pacifier. It’s something that I was “lead” to do. I’m for sure I heard the Holy Spirit urge me to get rid of it. Yet, as an authority in the household (with an endorsement from the Holy Spirit), why did I find myself having a debate about a pacifier with my wife? Literally, we are weighing the pros and cons of a pacifier like it was a climax moment for our family’s momentum. There was no issue here — I heard the Holy Spirit so it must be confirmation to get rid of it. But while I ruminated on Phillipians 2:12 our conversation took a shift.
We started to talk about various solutions that stretched both our comfort zones. At first I was firm about going “cold turkey” and now I’m collaborating with my wife about what times in the day we should keep the pacifier. If you are still thinking our dialogue was simply about pacifiers, it’s actually deeper than that.
As I heard my wife’s solutions, I realized that she was the one to carry the burden of the pacifier being removed. I can sleep through any tantrum our daughter would have retaliated with. Our daughter would eventually tire herself out. But my wife’s sleep schedule would have been in jeopardy with my plan. Something she tried to communicate to me by saying “I’m not sure the Spirit is on this decision.” Something that I would have only heard by submitting the Word of God to the Word of God. In this case, God’s covenant was affirmed by His whisper to my Spirit.
What I thought was an opportunity for God to remove the desire of a pacifier from a 20-month old, was actually a moment to emphasize the strategic advantage of a couple in a covenant. A conversation where I thought God’s patriarchal soverignty was on display, actually revealed the clout of God’s unity. This is the crucible of “working out your salvation with fear and trembling.” There is a “fear” associated with questioning what you heard from God. And a “trembling” as you engage with humans to reveal God’s Will.
I can assure you the scope of impact will change when we “wrestle” with our purposeful work for the kingdom. Whether it’s in the city, or in your home, “fear and trembling” has a consistent aroma that we should embrace as disciples.
I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
(Phi. 4:12–13)
And after the debates and “what ifs” about a pacifier had ended, somehow, our daughter just stopped using it the next day. No joke.
